The Fault in Our Stars

When I first catched this movie on magazines and watched its trailer, I thought this kind of cheesy poetic-drama kind of movie that can be simply understood yet so light to enjoy. So, I skipped it. Somehow when I read its review again and found my husband got that movie for our movie-date … I guessed I need to watch this based on novel movie by John Green and directed by Josh Boone.

Despite my sarcastic way in perceiving that true love doesn't exist, deep inside me still hoping that it is existed. Of course my tears were falling watching this movie. I fell in love with this movie not just because they were using my album collections as its soundtracks like Birdy, Kodaline, Lykke Li, Tom Odell and Ed Sheeran, but how simply they show us how to perceive life in a way from people like Gus and Hazel (whose life seems harder than mine). Especially, I like the way they confronting the definition of the fault is our stars as not to blame the bad luck but referring the fault to ourselves for thinking it as a bad luck.

Hoit! wait!

You surely want a simple honey chamomile tea with ginger cookies while listening to their beautiful tunes :

I Give It A(nother) Years

Sebagai orang pelupa, sekali lagi aku membuat jengkel suamiku ketika film ini tetiba muncul di Fox Movies malam itu. Aku seperti semangat untuk menonton dan suamiku mempertanyakan karena sebetulnya kami punya film ini dan aku selama ini tidak tertarik untuk menonton. Akhirnya kami memilih tidur dan tidak melanjutkan pertengkaran perihal kealpaan ku dalam mengingat sesuatu. Keesokan harinya baru aku tergerak menonton film itu karena ibuku dan adikku menyarankan karena menurut mereka film ini mirip dengan kisahku dan suamiku. Demikian juga mereka berpesan "semoga ending nya jangan ikut - ikutan sama" Karena penasaran, maka kuajak suamiku malam itu menonton film ini :

Her

When my eyes were spoiled with the contrast touch of vintage looking and cutting edge moodern setting. 

Have you ever so distrust with love? So tired with human relationship…. and so thinking that love is enormous insane feeling admitted by social life?

Moonrise Kingdom , The Grand Hotel Budapest , Fantastic Mr. Fox

I must say this awesomness movies bring me to the criterion classic contemporary list for they really steal my heart. My husband introduced me to Moonrise Kingdom and we both (or maybe just me feeling overwhelmed), I found this movie is greatly depicted in distinctive way of setting. The touch of vintage and classic setting, nice color pallet, and swinging naration are completed with many moral lessons I learn from.

A simple story of two young lover whose family life is not really interest them leads to their journey of getting to know and adventorous escapade to unite their true feelings toward each other. How its story wrapped in distinctive setting in classical and historical way that amazed me. It won't stop me saying "oooohhhh sweetie" until a simply laugh at the end of the story.
Overall! hey hey hey I call our (my husband and I) house as Moonrise Kingdom!

I recall all my memories working at the hotel, the concierge, the lobby boy, the restaurant, and the secret behind every numbered doors. Probably this story revealing one of that door, the adventour of Zero Moustava and his senior Mr. Gustave. This movie teaches me about loyalty, friendship, and the right of being right.

The cold setting of old furnished and some classic decoration, this movie brings the nuance of historical germany setting. Completed with the scenes I found and some costumes I like. This movie really pleased my weekend :) Oh ya! My husband and I really like how they exposed antlers!!! yey yey yey our favorite! And one more thing …. so many laugh and smile will be with you during the story!

As I'm in love with these kind of movies, I started to browse and find out more about them. It is found that Wes Anderson made these movies *hail*! So our next must watch movies is the epic one-stop-motion movie of Fantastic Mr. Fox. Oh my God!!!!!!!

SPLENDID!

More than just laugh and laugh, I was thrilled to further indulging myself into this movie. Mr. Fox and his family let me learn about being ourself and be good at it.


Oh I love it .. I love it … I love it ….

Mind Blowng : Song for Marion and Toast

Recently, I'm making good progress in managing my mind no matter the surround happen to tease me with anger, jealousy, hatred, and others bad mood I've been engaged ever since. Besides meeting a good friend who is a Yoga instructor (in which still I'm not practicing yoga) who teach me to take a long eight times deep breath when negative impulsive cause trigger my mind to do harm, I also learn how to take pause a moment and fight my brain to switch the mind by making it balance in between brain and the heart *whoooosaaahhhh* …. "inner peace" <-- that's how my husband teach me how.

Nothing in the world can bother you as much as your own mind, I tell you. In fact others seem to be bothering you, but it is not others, it is your own mind.

- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar -

Here we go on Sunday, my husband offered me with two vintage-cinematography movies which I was not interested at the first time knowing its title, but once the scene blow me away with the vintage classic scenery and property… I said "yes, I do!" As a sweet reminder, when I write about movie means I'm talking about the enjoyment and the lesson I learned, not the technical things like directors, forms of plotting, actors and actress, and so on.

SONG FOR MARION
I was seduced by the love story of Marion and Arthur. As I experience that such love story is never exist until I meet my husband who eagerly convince me that kind of love do exist, as him <--- oh My! Well, here I reflect myself as Arthur who is grumpy and bitter seeing the life. Here we will find the journey itself comes from Arthur for his self-discovery and thaw his bitterness, qualities that he will need in his imminent transition to move along with life and letting go thus to enjoy life as how it is.

TOAST
Bake and Cook! perfect way to decorate this movie especially when it's a true story of Nigel Slater a cookery writer. You will be spoiled with the touches of vintage property, products, and scenery. All I learn about in this movie is how Nigel cope with the situation which almost obstruct his talent in cookery.

So, here is how I spend my Sunday with my husband with good food, good snacks, and good movies.


PS : I find the common in between two movies I watched above :
1. death wives
2. Europe setting
3. Vintage Scenery

Rush : Someone's Driven by Something

 Ketika disodoring dua pilihan film oleh suamiku antara film perjuangan hidup dan kisah nyata biopic akan sebuah kompetisi, sudah pasti RUSH yang membuat aku ingin tonton untuk menghabiskan akhir pekan. Ya! film yang menggambarkan kompetisi untuk memperjuangkan sesuatu. Untuk kali ini bukan hanya untuk sebuah kejuaraan tapi juga akan pemahaman. Bahwa ada sesuatu hal yang menggerakkan seseorang untuk melakukan sesuatu…. Epic!

Oh jelas kehadiran Chris Hemsworth bukan alasan aku menonton ini, tapi Niki Lauda dan James Hunt lengkap dengan drama rival mereka. Tentunya nuansa vintage  dan vivid colour menambah film ini menjadi salah satu favorit untuk menggambarkan kisah nyata tahun tujuh puluhan antara dua juara dunia itu. Kemudian semangat seseorang untuk melakukan sesuatu sebagai motivasi atas pencapaiannya. Bahwa terkadang bahkan musuh/rival kita menjadi motivasi kita untuk mencapai sesuatu yang ingin kita raih. Tapi tetep ya … apapun yang kita ingin raih dan ingin kita dapatkan, belum tentu sesuai dengan jalan yang sudah ditentukan oleh Tuhan Alam Semesta.

Sokola Rimba : Adaptasi yok!

Ayo cerdas supaya bisa adaptasi dengan perubahan 

Kira - kira hanya kata - kata terakhir itu yang aku ingat menyentil rasaku ketika menonton film ini. Bertahun - tahun lalu aku dan keluargaku melihat artikel ini di koran Kompas yang menuliskan perjuangan Butet Manurung di pedalaman Jambi untuk mengajar kepada anak - anak rimba itu. Awalnya aku jatuh iba, tentang aksi sosial ini. Seperti manusia pada umumnya rasa salut dan iba memang yang paling pertama muncul ketika melihat kondisi ini, namun selang waktu membaca bukunya aku juga belajar hal lain, bukan hanya iba, salut, atau prihatin tapi juga memahami dari sisi mengolah semangat untuk menerima perubahan dan menyiasatinya dengan kecerdasan.

Aku tersenyum haru melihat semangat anak - anak rimba ini untuk bisa belajar, beberapa diantara mereka memang punya keinginan besar untuk menjadi cerdas dan pintar tapi juga belum tau kecerdasan itu akan digunakan sebagai apa. Beda dengan Bungo, salah satu anak rimba yang juga semangat belajar dan bersikeras untuk ingin tidak dibodohi atas perubahan jaman yang tidak bisa dihentikan. Kemudian pastinya diikuti dengan harapan mereka nantinya akan bisa beradaptasi dengan perubahan jaman tanpa meninggalkan nilai - nilai budaya dan adat istiadat <------- oh, see that's my words!

Mengingat aku pelupa dan ketika menonton film banyak detil yang sudah tidak menempel di jaring - jaring otakku, hal lain yang aku suka dari film ini adalah filosofi pohon madu. Jadi pohon madu adalah pohon tinggi tanpa ranting yang paling susah dicapai rombongan rimba, begitu mereka menyebut koloni rimba dengan rombongan. Diperlukannya keyakinan pada Tuhan alam semesta, hati yang bersih, dan pikiran yang fokus ketika mencapai puncaknya untuk nantinya mendapatkan sumber madu untuk kehidupan penduduk rimba. Karena puncaknya yang tinggi, dalam perjalanan si pemanjat sering diganggu halusinasi dan digambarkan bahwa halusinasi itu kadang dalam bentuk yang baik dan buruk. Ada yang diganggu setan pohon madu atau binatang yang menyeramkan sebagai simbol keburukan atau sensasi keindahan secara visual sebagai gambaran keindahan. Intinya tetap sama, apapun halusinasi itu bisa yang indah atau yang buruk jika kita tidak bijak menghadapinya, keduanya akan membuat kita jatuh.

Aku teringat seseorang yang mengajarkan aku akan fase kehidupan yang setiap levelnya memberi banyak ujian. Mungkin level - level inilah pijakan - pijakan untuk memanjat pohon madu kehidupan. Kadang dalam hidup kita merasa yang buruk adalah ujian dan mengingatkan kita akan sang pencipta untuk berserah dan memberi kemampuan untuk melewati cobaan. Setelahnya kita lupa, ketika kita sedang diberi kebaikan dalam hidup, kita anggap itu sebagai bonus setelah melewati cobaan, padahal itu cobaan lain dalam bentuk yang lebih manis untuk menguji kita, ingatkah kita untuk berterima kasih pada Tuhan alam semesta.

Monster University : It's OK to be OK

Sebagai bukan penyuka film kartun, aku hanya akan menontonnya ketika suamiku mengajak untuk menikmati makhluk makhluk tidak realis bergambar warna - warni. Awalnya selalu enggan, sejak aku menonton Up dan akhirnya jadi terharu, kemudian nonton WallE yang lalu jadi terinspirasi, akhirnya nonton Monster Inc. dan diikuti Monster University. Betul juga kalau kartun - kartun ini kadang menarik untuk mengendurkan otot - otot yang tegang disertai pelajaran moral yang membuat manggut - manggut lalu berpikir.

Kisah Monster Inc dan Monster University ini membawa aku kembali ke masa lalu. Sejak kecil kita diperkenalkan dengan kompetisi kejuaraan, demikian juga aku. Mulai dari juara lomba lukis, mewarnai, gerak dan lagu, sampai makan krupuk, juga lari karung, dan berbagai macam lainnya. Secara obyektif aku ini anak yang minderan dan terlalu sensitif sehingga kompetisi - kompetisi itu juga mempengaruhi caraku untuk berpikir memahami ambisi untuk menang. Dulu rasanya terluka sampai menusuk hati waktu sepupu - sepupu selalu juara 1, 2, dan 3 … lalu aku mentok di 10 besar jadi selalu saja tidak bisa mengambil senyum bangga Eyang Kakung dan Putri. Walaupun tetap diberi salam tempel, rasanya kurang puas menjadi juara.

Beranjak dewasa atau menua menurutku, karena dewasa tampak terlalu berat, aku menjadi anak yang selalu bekerja keras dan dicambuk ambisi untuk mencapai sesuatu. Aku bukan anak yang bisa dengan mudahnya bilang "it's ok! to be ok!' Kemudian Mike Wazowski salah satu tokoh utama di Monster University mengajakku belajar untuk berjuang dan menerima. Tentu saja aku bukan orang yang mudah menerima toh aku tumbuh untuk selalu menjadi mandiri, juara, dan kompetitif.

Mike Wazowski selalu bermimpi menjadi monster yang profesinya sebagai tukang menakut - nakuti anak kecil. Dimana dalam dunia monster ini adalah profesi jagoan dan menjadi kunci utama kehidupan Monster. Jadi tugas si monster yang menakut - nakuti ini adalah mendapatkan energi dari teriakan anak kecil yang ketakutan dan nantinya energi itu yang jadi sumber kehidupan di dunia monster. Tentunya syarat menjadi monster jagoan ini yang paling utama adalah punya bentuk yang menakutkan dan suara mengaum yang mengerikan. Takdir berkata lain karena Mike Wazowski terlahir menjadi monster yang imut. Jadi sebagaimanapun cerdasnya dia mengenyam pendidikan di Monster University dengan nilai A+ dia tidak punya bakat dan talenta untuk bisa jadi mendapatkan profesi monster jagoan yang tugasnya menakut - nakuti.

Tentu saja dia tidak terima dengan kenyataan ini dan membuktikan dengan berbagai cara untuk mencapai tujuannya itu. Di akhir cerita akhirnya profesi Mike ini adalah mendampingi sahabatnya yang juga monster yaitu Sullie. Nah, si Sullie ini emang terlahir berbakat menakuti, cuman karena kurang cerdas dia membutuhkan kecerdasan Mike untuk membantu Sullie menjadi monster penakut sejati yang mana profesi ini sebetulnya diidamkan oleh si Mike. Mereka menjadi tim yang bersinergi dan sukses mencapai target untuk menakut - nakuti anak kecil dengan nilai tertinggi.

Percayalah menerima kekalahan memang bukan hal yang mudah. Menerima bahwa tujuan yang ingin diraih itu tidak tercapai mencabik - cabik emosi dan menumbuhkan keputusasaan. Tapi tidak ada tantangan jika semuanya dimenangkan karena memang selayaknya kalah dan menang bersanding dalam sebuah kompetisi. Aku yakin Mike juga membutuhkan waktu yang lama untuk menerima bahwa dia tidak akan bisa menjadi apa yang dia inginkan tapi bisa mengaplikasikan sisi positif kelebihan dari dirinya untuk menjadi berguna tidak hanya untuk orang lain, juga dirinya sendiri. Jadi, jangan takut kalah dan jangan takut gagal, mungkin kita hanya belum bisa melihat sisi lain dari diri kita yang lebih baik dari kegagalan yang sedang kita alami. Anggap saja kita juara harapan, jadi masih ada harapan kan?

oh iya, soundtrack yang menarik sambil baca blog ini rasanya Agnes Monica "Things will get better". Ini single dia yang katanya merupakan perjuangan go international  yang konon katanya gagal itu. Tapi cuba aja liat muka Agnezmo yang tetep songong dan chin up dan ngga putus asa itu, mungkin dia memahami dia sebagai Juara Harapan, bukan kalah.

Like Crazy : the dead sparks and hearts

never allow anything to destroy 

the feelings we share for each other

- like crazy, 2011 -

Kesalahan besar menonton film ini secara tidak sengaja adalah dalam keadaan sedang datang bulan dan sebelumnya banyak merenungkan masalah - masalah tentang hubungan cinta dua orang. Berakhir dengan emosi yang entah kenapa hampir saja merusak perasaanku hari itu. Lalu sebenarnya apa pengaruh film Amerika romantis ringan yang dirilis tahun 2011 ini bisa sebegitunya membuat aku yang notabene waras ini menjadi seketika terbawa dengan emosi yang aku sendiri tidak bisa pahami. Mungkin karena film ini membahas sesuatu yang menyentil pikiran skeptis aku akan cinta.

Jatuh cinta, klise dan terlalu pop tapi tidak mudah dimengerti. Ini kisah cinta Anna dan Jacob semasa kuliah yang penuh dengan perasaan yang terlalu semarak dan gila. Anna berasal dari London dan sedang mengikuti pertukaran pelajar di Los Angeles yang kemudian saling jatuh cinta kepada Jacob. Dalam film ini kisah cinta mereka digambarkan terlalu menggebu dan tampak terlalu indah sampai akhirnya Anna dideportasi ke London karena melanggar visa pelajarnya. Berpisah dua benua bukan hal yang mudah, selain jet lag waktu pasti ada saja yang menjadi tantangan mereka berdua untuk mempertahankan perasaan mereka. Berkunjung ke London menjadi cara satu - satunya Jacob untuk menemui Anna dan selama berpisah mereka juga memiliki sensasinya sendiri - sendiri untuk dekat dengan orang lain *sigh. 

Melihat keadaan ini orang tua Anna mengusulkan mereka menikah untuk mempermudah visa Anna tidak dicabut malahan bisa mendapatkan Green Card dan bisa bersatu lagi dengan Jacob. Seperti yang aku yakini juga bahwa pernikahan itu harus didasari dengan alasan yang kuat antara 2 pihak bukan atas pengaruh faktor lain. Demikian juga perasaan Jacob saat diminta menikah, meski hatinya tidak sepenuhnya yakin karena dia juga menjalin hubungan dengan wanita lain tapi dia juga mencintai Anna. Tapi akhirnya merekapun menikah dengan iming - iming 6 bulan kemudian Anna mendapatkan visanya lagi dan mereka bisa bersatu, meski nasib berkata lain. Visa itu juga belum lolos. Hubungan yang memudar, jarak yang memisahkan, waktu yang tidak sinkron, kehadiran pihak ketiga, rasanya itu alasan tepat kenapa rasa akhirnya memudar. 

Sampai akhirnya suatu ketika visa itu lolos. Anna mencoba kembali kepada Jacob dan pindah ke Los Angeles meninggalkan cinta paruh waktunya demikian juga Jacob. Namun, sepertinya mereka gagal untuk tidak membiarkan apapun merusak perasaan mereka satu sama lain. Ketika apa yang sudah tidak seharusnya … meski diperjuangkan dengan segala apapun tetap pada konklusi memang sudah tidak seharusnya. 

Film ini ditutup dengan soundtrack yang apik karena aku si penyuka suara aneh penyanyi indie Stars yang memberikan lirik menampar dalam lagunya Dead Hearts. 

Tell me everything that happened,
Tell me everything you saw.
They had lights inside their eyes...
They had lights inside their eyes...
Did you see the closing window,
Did you hear the slamming door?
They moved forward and my heart died...
They moved forward and my heart died...
Please, please tell me what they looked like,
Did they seem afraid of you?

They were kids that I once knew...
They were kids that I once knew...

I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
It's hard to know they're out there,
It's hard to know that you still care.
I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
Dead hearts are everywhere!
Dead hearts are everywhere!

Did you touch them, did you hold them?
Did they follow you to town?
They make me feel I'm falling down...
They make me feel I'm falling down...
Was there one you saw too clearly,
Did they seem too real to you?
They were kids that I once knew...
They were kids that I once knew...

I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.

It's hard to know they're out there,
It's hard to know that you still care.
I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
Dead hearts are everywhere!
Dead hearts are everywhere!

I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.

It's hard to know they're out there,
It's hard to know that you still care.
I can say it, but you won't you believe me.
You say you do, but you don't deceive me.
Dead hearts are everywhere!
Dead hearts are everywhere!

They were kids that I once knew...
They were kids that I once knew...
Now they're all dead hearts to you...
Now they're all dead hearts to you...
They were kids that I once knew...
They were kids that I once knew...
Now they're all dead hearts to you...

Mungkin dulu aku pernah marah pada semesta dan empunya kehidupan. Kenapa juga aku harus bertemu dengan seseorang yang bukan untuk aku dan harus meninggalkan sakit. Apakah aku terlalu memaksa waktu itu? Sia - siakah waktuku untuk bertemu mereka yang pernah mengisi hatiku waktu itu? Atau aku yang tidak bisa mengubah waktu yang kuanggap sia - sia itu sebagai proses hidup dan pembelajaran? Kalau diisi sejuta tanya mungkin tulisan ini tidak akan pernah berakhir. Yang jelas, aku harus meyakini apa yang aku jalani sekarang adalah yang memang harus terjadi sekarang apapun hasilnya nanti. 

Baru pagi ini aku menemukan jawabannya. Setelah yang aku lalui dalam hidupku ternyata semesta dan empunya kehidupan memberi kebaikan dan menghadirkan sosok yang dengan hati terbuka aku berani mencintai lagi. Kami juga sudah mengucap sumpah untuk tidak membiarkan apapun merusak perasaan kami satu sama lain. Jadi mari kita coba sedikit untuk tidak terlalu tamak dalam hubungan ini dan menyaring hal - hal yang dapat merusak perasaan kami. 

Lovelace : the ordeal survivor

 Let me stated once again, I am not as my husband who can review movies perfectly in technical details and his wonderful perspective. I watch movies for my own enjoyment and for as much as moral lesson I can obtain or apply them in life. So, here is my thoughts about stunning movie I have watched last time with my husband, Lovelace.

This movie is based on true story of Linda Lovelace (starring Amanda Seyfried) also featuring her mom Dorothy (starring Sharon Stone). I call this movie as a survival of darker story in 1970 which porn movies and internet was not yet famous or exploded. Behind this one-hit-wonder porn star Linda Lovelace starring hits porn movie Deep Throat, were suffered from her charismatic hustler husband Chuck she loved once who forced her to be porn star and slut. Escaping a strict religious family, she got the paradigm of sacred catholic marital vow to be devoted and loyal with her marriage and husband. Somehow, this harrowing tale of the pursuit of happiness and the will to survive amid years of horrified abuse turned her to be a spokesperson for sexual freedom, pornographic, and abusive marriage.

Overall, this is tragic yet triumphant life that amazed me and inspired me that no matter how hard I try to be happy no matter the situation is, but I must be critical and smart in facing it.

Berusaha (lebih) Baik

Musdalifah itu sebenernya orang yang menyebalkan. Dia itu suka menyalahkan masa lalu atas apa yang terjadi saat ini. Bayangkan saja, dia salahkan orang tuanya yang tak lagi mencinta, yang membuat dia sempat tak mau menikah. Lalu dia salahkan nasib keuangan dan fasilitas atas pemikirannya untuk menunda hamil karena takut tidak bisa membiayai anaknya nanti. Dia juga menyalahkan pengalamannya di-bully atas sifat minder dan kecemasannya akan segala sesuatu. Bahkan dia memutuskan untuk skeptis atas patah hati yang dia rasakan dua tahun lalu. Tidak tau diuntung memang si Musdalifah ini, masih mending dia punya sahabat yang selalu mendengar kegalauannya dengan setia dan sabar, keluarga yang selalu menerima dia kapanpun dia ingin pulang sekedar mendamaikan hati, juga suaminya si Mustafa yang setiap hari berusaha membuat Musdalifah paham bahwa segalanya akan baik - baik saja serta bentuk cintanya yang besar kepada Musdalfah. Bunuh saja si Musdalifah ini yang masih saja menganggap hidup itu tidak adil.

Semalam Musdalifah menonton TV seri Scandal yang ditontonnya bersama Mustafa secara maraton selama libur lebaran. Ada satu adegan, dimana ajaran moral yang disampaikan adalah ... "ketika kita ingin berjuang untuk jadi lebih baik lagi, maka jangan menoleh kebelakang dan bicara dendam. Karena kita tidak bisa hidup pada dua masa, lalu dan sekarang." Manalagi ajaran moral itu disampaikan si Huck, salah satu tokoh cerita yang hidupnya jauh lebih sengsara daripada Musdalifah! matik kamu Musdalifah!

Maka itu, mungkin berkat ramadhan dan lebaran juga ... musdalifah ingin memulai dengan hati yang bersih dan baru. Musdalifah belajar untuk memaafkan dan mengikhlaskan masa lalunya juga masa lalu orang - orang yang ia cintai disekitarnya. Mulai saat ini juga Musdalifah ingin memahami adalah masa lalu bukan alasan tapi itu adalah proses bagaimana Musdalifah seharusnya bisa menjadi lebih baik lagi dalam memaknai hidupnya.

Terima kasih Mustafa, yang tetap meyakinkan Musdalifah untuk membela pernikahan si presiden dan mengecam selingkuhannya karena pada akhirnya Musdalifah tau, bahwa apapun tantangan dalam pernikahan nantinya adalah untuk diselesaikan bukan untuk ditinggalkan demi seorang selingkuhan *bwihik .... 

Les Miserables | Extreme Unhappiness

Barusan buka google untuk mencari tau apa sih arti dari Miserable itu, bagaimana kamus menjabarkan sebuah rasa Miserable  yang pasti diambil dari kata Misery itu. Ternyata artinya itu bisa dibilang Extreme Unhappiness.

Kalau bicara soal rasa, setiap orang punya batas kebahagiaan dan tidak bahagianya sendiri – sendiri. Itulah kenapa sebagai orang yang suka sekari mencari jawaban, aku paling kesulitan menanyakan soal rasa, karena jawabannya tidak ada yang pasti. Lebih mending nanya isi tabunganku, pasti dengan cepat aku jawab “Rp. 0 ,- saudara – saudara terkasih!”

Waktu berencana untuk menonton Les Miserables, sebuah film musical yang diangkat dari novel Victor Hugo, aku juga bertanya – tanya “Miserable nya bakal separah apa sih?” bersusah payah aku mengingat cerita novel yang aku baca jaman kuliah dan aku tidak menyerapi ceritanya namun hanya sekedar membaca dari sudut pandang dosen demi mendapatkan nilai A *jebule aku kehilangan esensi cerita itu sendiri* . Ternyata oh ternyata, film yang apik ini menguras air mataku juga dan bagaimana sebuah rasa ‘extreme unhappiness’ itu digambarkan sempurna melebihi kisah hidupku dan meski masih kurang nelangsa dari kisah penyaliban Yesus *hadah*betul betul membuat mewek!

Jadi inget dulu jaman kuliah dan membaca novel ini lalu si pak dosen bertanya “apa pelajaran moral dari novel ini?” tetap saja aku berusaha menjawab dari persepsinya dan aku tidak memaknai novel ini. Hanya kali ini aku yang sudah dewasa *baca DEWASA bukan MENUA* mulai bisa mengambil sisi moral yang bisa memberiku gambaran tentang kehidupan. Kisah ini mengajakku mengunjungi 3 fase kehidupan dalam hidupku, dari aku yang belum merasakan kehidupan yang menyedihkan, lalu aku yang pernah melalui masa menyedihkan itu, kemudian bangkit dari rasa sedih itu. Sekarang aku bisa cukup mudah mengatakan pada diriku sendiri I’m not into that miserable for I have faith and belong to His fate!

Eh ini schene si Fantine ‘Anne Hathaway’ waktu meratapi nasibnya dan lagu ini sangat – sangat tepat dipilih untuk menggambarkan kehidupannya yang sangat – sangat miserable. My favorite scene ever! 

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame

And still I dreamed he'll come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So diff'rent from this hell I'm living
So diff'rent now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

PS: tulisan ini sebenarnya untuk Ibu, yang tadi pagi menghubungi dan menanyakan soal ‘rasaku’. “Bu, tidak perlu engkau kuatir akan segalapun yang tidak pasti. Biarkan mereka bicara seenaknya dan menilai sesuka hatinya, tapi ini tetap hidup yang harus dijalani kita sendiri. Apapun rasa yang aku alami saat ini biarlah ini jadi bahagia atau dukaku dan mungkin jika hidup harus membunuh mimpiku sekali lagi, biarlah aku berkata kepada empunya kehidupan, ‘Oh, shit man! That hurts’” *hehehehehe “

The Vow - Brain Defect - Memories

Adikku benci alasanku lupa adalah karena gegar otak. Teriakku pada sahabatku, jangan menonton The Vow karena terlalu bagus untuk membuat kita menangis haru. Intinya, film ini bagus dan menceritakan tentang sebuah perjuangan seorang suami atas istrinya yang amnesia karena gegar otak dan melupakan dirinya begitu juga melupakan rasa cinta itu.

"The moments of impact" sebenernya film ini menceritakan hal itu saja. Kita hidup dalam berbagai momen - momen yang berpengaruh satu sama lain. Beberapa orang meyakini "no such things called coincidence" dan percaya bahwa perjalanan hidup ini sudah diatur oleh yang diatas. Ada juga yang protes dan tidak percaya seperti meyakini bahwa kematian bisa ditangan manusia ketika bunuh diri. Well, whatever your thoughts ... just believe what you're in.

Untuk adikku, aku tidak menyalahkan gegar otak yang biar bagaimana membuatku lupa akan beberapa hal. Tapi sudahlah, itu tadi the moment of impacts so I always appreciate of any impacts happening of every moments *halah*

The ARTIST

the encounter, the fall, the fame

I wonder why only 15 people gathered for the movie that night. Myself was once doubt how the movie will flow. Now, I know how they win Oscar for the great movie of silence in expression, how a modern-silent black and white movie can hold us in an in-depth story of modernization, the fall of idealism, the snobbish! and the willingness to be opened of all happens in us. 

The dance, the expression, the vintage, and the story goes well ...

When The Arisan Watches Arisan 2

Mulut itu hanya perantara kata - kata, semuanya dari hati

- Arisan 2 -

 Banyak pro kontra ketika film Arisan yang pertama hadir. Kehidupan sosialita, gay dan lesbian, konflik dan skandal, serta beberapa realita hidup yang tidak semua orang bisa memahami atau berada dalam kehidupan tersebut. Dahulu ketika Arisan yang pertama diputar, masih cengingisan dan tidak membayangkan apakah kehidupan semacam itu ada.

Sekarang, aku bisa dibilang tidak terlibat banyak dalam kehidupan high-end sosialita itu, tapi ada di kehidupan itu merupakan bagian dari apa yang aku jalani saat ini. Waktu diajak nonton Arisan 2, aku sudah semangat banget ... karena adikku bilang itu bagus dan mengena ceritanya, jadi aku semangat meluncur dari Klaten demi ajakan nonton ini. Walopun sempet mencak - mencak karena beberapa kali temanku ini dengan genitnya bilang ... "ada camer lu tu .. dateng ya sugar mama!" ... hadeh, kencan ama anaknya aja belon pernah udah dibilang camer.

Alhasil kami yang terdiri dari "semuanya wanita" emmmmm ... menonton Arisan 2, ada tawa, tangis, senyum sarkastik, dan rasa persahabatan yang memeluk kami ketika menonton film itu. Memang betul, pasangan bisa datang dan pergi, duka lara harus ditanggung sendiri, senang dan menang menjadi kebanggaan pribadi, tapi keseluruhan itu ada pada sebuah persahabatan yang tetap tinggal.

The Arisan

Untuk penonton sinis Arisan 2, ketika kamu bicara tidak normal tanya pada dirimu apa batas normal itu dan siapa pembuat batas normal itu. Ketika kamu bicara agama, siapa yang menentukan agama A, B, C, atau E memiliki kedudukan tinggi rendahnya dimuka bumi ini. Duduk dan nikmati saja waktumu, karena tak seorangpun tau kapan hari terakhirmu atau terakhirku ... renungilah hari ini saja, "Sudahkah kamu  berbuat kebaikan atau menyakiti seseorang hari ini?"


Mei : Bagaimana kamu berdoa Tom?
Tom : When the conversation happens, between me and ... you can call it universe ... you can call it God.
Mei : Do you ask for everything when you pray?
Tom : Nope, in meditating, we say and express grateful instead of asking too many.....


Oia, kalau ditanya ... apakah kehidupan seperti Arisan 1 atau 2 itu ada ... aku akan segera menjawabnya dengan sigap "Ada!!"

TinTin

Many people are looking for chances telling that you are FAIL. So, stop telling about this to yourself.

- Captain Haddock -

Terkadang ada kalanya kami sekantor merasa jenuh, ada yang kangen keluarganya, ada yang bener - bener kehilangan kehidupan, dan singkat kata ... kami bosan. Kami yang terbiasa bertemu tamu, keliling properti, event, banquet, dll tiba - tiba kami menghabiskan sebagian besar waktu untuk menatap komputer dan membuat sebuah sistem yang tentunya membutuhkan kejelian dan 'typing all the time'. Kamipun sesekali membuat kegiatan, selain billiard, naik odong - odong, aerobik, wisata kuliner, delivery pizza, travelling, dll. Kali ini kami memutuskan buat nonton Tintin ... yipppieee Tintin the legend!!! Walaupun aku bukan penyuka kartun, tapi kusarankan ini adalah 'a-must-see movie' trust me!!!

Ada pesan - pesan moral yang aku kagumi dan tentunya alur ceritanya tidak membosankan. Efek kartunnya, entah jenis apa ini, tapi kereeeennnnnn banget. No wonderlah ini Steven Spielberg. Akhirnya aku belajar, sesuatu yang besar itu diawali perjalanan yang panjang dan berat. Tapi keyakinan, kejelian, dan kemauan keras kita itu yang nantinya menjawab suatu saat nanti.

Waktu nonton Tintin ini, iseng banget naik Trans Jogja dan satu komentar aja ... a really nice way to excercise my arms *sigh!!

Real Steel

From Max to his Dad, " I just want you to fight for me ... " - Real Steel -

I was so broken when Max Said that to his Dad as that sometimes what I want to tell to my Dad. I couldn't even strong enough to hold tears running through. It blinds me a moment and needed a second to wiped it out and face the mad world.

Real Steel is a 2011 American science fiction film starring Hugh Jackman and directed by Shawn Levy. The film is based in part on the 1956 short story "Steel" by Richard Matheson, though Levy placed the film in U.S. state fairs and other "old-fashioned" Americana settings. Real Steel was in development for several years before production began on June 11, 2010. Filming took place primarily in the U.S. state of Michigan. Animatronic robots were built for the film, and motion capture technology was used to depict the brawling of computer-generated robots and animatronics. Real Steel was publicly released in Australia on October 6, 2011 and in the United States and Canada on October 7, 2011 to mixed to positive reviews. It was released in both conventional and IMAX theaters. (WIKIPEDIA)

Somehow, what brings me into this movie is about the moral lesson inside it. How we grab the chance, how we need to encourage ourself in facing the world, about Dad and son thing, about how technology seems like close enough to be part of human being, and one important thing ... If you have the first shot! grab it! aim it .....

I heart this movie sooooooooo much!!!!!!! and especially the soundtrack!!!!!!!!

Dear you, thank you for the 'missing me moment' confession ... I was pleased! *bisou ... bisou ...

Attitude at work.... WORKS!!!!

I’ve been planning to write about this  but have no idea how to convey my ideas into my blog. How to retell what’s actually really useful especially in youth life nowadays.

I was in a meeting with Board of Directors and Owners, in the other night before I was tempted to watch ‘Devil Wears Prada’, let’s say for my third times… So, the meeting became very exciting day like you knew what’s reasoning, maybe it’s my compassion at work or it’s just because the movie I watched. Speaking of which, they saw me as too young for my profession at the same time they were amazed of what I’ve done so far.

It was truly compliment and making me proud. That’s why I keep on questioning myself, If I can why other people can’t? and what’s making it actually?

After the meeting, I went back to office and found my assistant talked to me while yawning and telling me that many of my Bahasa words are not common in translation I did (I think It’s time for me to scream ‘Mother F***er’ what the H**l you said?!). Of course I chose to not listening to him, walking to my desk and then ask him politely ‘ Sebanyak apa Bahasa saya yang salah?’

He answered, ‘Banyak Mbak, artinya kurang pas.. ‘

I replied, ‘Coba tunjukkan saya, nanti saya perbaiki.’

He grabbed his note and showed me only 2 parts in which I forgot to write the word ‘kami’ and ‘nilai’ in that translation.

I directly responded to him, “ saya rasa, kamu yang pemahaman bahasa Indonesia nya kurang, BANYAK means more than two! And for your lesson, It’s not polite talking to others while yawning … it’s not an attitude!”

Soon after he started to remain himself thinking properly without making any stupid actions.

I finally encouraged myself to share what I know so far about how to behave and having good manners at work. Hope this going to be useful and can give illustration about what working life is.

LISTEN

As a new comer at work, you should listen more than talking. While doing it, observe your colleagues’ character.

You don’t need to share your idealism too much or being too “smarty pants” as it is considered as too much!

The more you know about your colleagues you can adjust your attitudes to other smooth and nicely.

THROW YOUR IDEALISM TEMPORARY

If this is not your company, your ideas are considered unused. So, stop being so strong holding your idealism and start to do what your boss wants you to do.

If you think this not suit you then go home and start your own company. I said temporary for at some point you can share your ideas and idealism when the time is right.

No matter they will use your idealism or not, it’s good for having the chance to share.

POLITE

Talk clearly.. when you talk to someone, make sure they hear what you say. You don’t talk for yourself, don’t you?

Don’t talk while yawning. Put your respect first to others. Make excuse for any actions and say thank you after.

Well, you may check guidance of manner for this matter.

LEARN

So many tools you can use at work to learn. The more you study about it, the sooner you catch up with all things at work.

This can be a plus point for you.

PRO-ACTIVE

I’m not good in explaining what definition of PRO-ACTIVE is, but here is the example.

When your boss asks you to  find samples of paper, you’re supposed to be proactively looking more than just samples of paper, but also the price, specification, vendor, and minimum order.

If they want A, give them A+!!!

I guess that’s all from me of my working life and how I learned so much form my Devil wears Christian Loubutin boss…. Then, here I am right now.

And the part from 'Devil wears Prada' movie I love the most is when the designer tells about “ when you’re personal life is messed-up, means you’re ready for promotion!” …

It doesn’t need to be messed-up actually … heheheh…

My Condolences to Steve Jobs

For your invention I adore and your story that inspires me, I send my best regards to you for your mastermind, Dear Steve Jobs, - in tears staring at my saved money for your latest gadgets -

'You've got to find what you love,' Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Steve Jobs

No Strings Attached

you give me Premature Ventricular Contraction

- Emma's Valentine Greeting to Adam - 

It was about last year when my brother told me that I should find sex buddies instead of lover. He got this worst-best advise after watching this movie but I had no idea before that this movie bringing him in to it. Well, yesterday I saw its trailer on Itunes and planned to watch it. 

if only my sex-buddy would be as sexy as him

Three things I like the most from this movie are, the actor and actress, it is of course the sexy Kutcher and Portman. The story is what reasoning to finish this movie until end, it is simply a story of a girl and guy who don't believe in love and choose to be sex partner instead, somehow it's simply that we don't pick to whom we fall in love with, it's just happen as it's should be. The last, I love the special-romantic ways of this story. It seems awkward at first, but it is trully a kind of act that I like the most such as when Emma (Natalie Portman) gives a Val's card to Adam written 'you give me premature ventricular contraction' which in medical dictionary means a heartbeat that is not normal (read: fall in love symptoms). I also like when Adam (Ashton Kutcher) give Emma a 'period mix tracks' - a CD song compilation that best to be listened during period. The best part is when Emma tells Adam to not to give flower and in return Adam gives Emma a bucket of Carrots with ribbon. :)